Death by suicide is often accompanied by many stigmas,
misconception, and a lot of difficult questions. Why did someone do this? Could
I have stopped it? Why, could and should have are often at the heart of
grief when someone dies in this way. Suicide can be very disempowering and
hurtful for those left behind. Because of all the stigmas and misconceptions
about suicide, it can be very helpful to get educated about suicide. Sometimes
the best way to answer a question is to seek the answer from those who have
been there and understand. Unfortunately, there are not often answers for your
particular questions. Death to suicide can happen because of mental health or
other painful life conditions, like job loss, shame, health changes, loss of
identity, a lack of purpose, or other contributing variables. Blame, anger, and
other intense feelings can surround your grief. That is normal and okay. You
are entitled to all of your feelings, but do not hold them all in and find
someone to talk about them with.
Here are some things to consider:
- Don’t go it alone – build a reliable support
system that you trust and who cares about supporting you throughout your grief
- Identify good listeners so you can process your
questions, thoughts, and feelings with others
- Find other survivors who understand your
questions and the stigmas you may face grieving this type of loss
- Tell the truth to those who need to know,
especially children
- You don’t have to be ashamed. While suicide is
hard and there are often complicated factors, 90% of people who complete
suicide have a biological or physiological ailment
Additional Resources
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
AFSP: Returning to School After a Suicide Loss: For Younger Children