Simply
attending the funeral will help your child begin processing his or her grief.
But whenever possible, consider including youth of all ages in the planning of
the funeral/memorial service to help them feel connected and involved.
Let your
child’s comfort level guide you when sharing ideas about how he or she can
express his or her feelings, and honor your loved one in a meaningful way. Be
certain that your child understands that participation is his or her decision,
and that, at any point, he or she can change his or her mind about the level of
involvement.
Consider
asking your funeral director, clergy or celebrant for suggestions on youth
involvement, or incorporate some of the following activities:
Prior to the funeral
- Draw a picture or write a letter to
place in the casket or beside the urn.
- Select special photographs or items,
and help arrange a picture board, video tribute or memorial table; share
special stories and memories during the activity.
- Older children may want to help with
arrangements, such as selecting a casket or an urn, or the readings and music
for the service.
During the funeral events
Visitation
- Greet the guests, hand out memorial
cards or direct people to the registration book.
- Participate in the final closing of the
casket.
Ceremony
- Start the ceremony by placing a flower
on the casket or in front of a memorial portrait.
- Share a poem, reading or reflection;
sing a song or play an instrument.
- Serve as a pallbearer or casket escort.
- Participate in religious customs.
Post-ceremony
- Distribute flowers to family and
friends gathered at the cemetery.
- Place a memento at the graveside, such
as a plant or stuffed animal.
- Share
special memories over your loved one’s favorite meal.